"Welcome to Static Loops! Please secure all loose
objects such as keys, combs, purses, wallets, handguns,
change, hand grenades, and bazookas. When seated, please
lower your head restraint and do not stop the lap bar from
coming forward and crushing your reproductive organs or
you'll fall out and make a mess of our sidewalk. Thank you
and get the hell off of our ride."
- Overheard from the ride's
public address system as
Lou and Shae-doe walked
"'Tis a big place," Shae-doe commented as he looked upon
the amusement park with slight awe. It was a rarity to see
so many strange creatures in one place. "Are ye sure this is
where the wizard Kaye-Boom be?"
They walked past a man dressed as Dracula.
Shae-doe shook his head but Lou didn't notice.
"It was your spell, remember?" Lou commented as they both
walked past a large fountain, spraying some of Cassville's
finest semi-polluted water back into the fenced pool. "You
yourself saw a vision of the Games circle, so that's where
A young man dressed as a Roman warrior sprinted past.
Lou, noticing Shae-doe's double take at the soldier,
remarked, "It must be costume day--he isn't really a
"I knew that," Shae-doe replied.
"Sure you did..."
And so they walked on towards the Death Adventure Games
circle, a circular collection of money cheating amusements,
in search of a warped wizard with a nose for fire. As they
walked they passed a few soda stands, a pretzel cart, a
merry-go-round--on which some young man with a bookbag, Lou
couldn't quite place who, was affixing small black boxes to
the undersides of the horses, and a "One and a half man band"
singing a strange ballad about big eyes.
Lou asked, "Did I tell you about when I used to work
here?" He crushed a soda can that just happened to have been
in his path with a stomp, as if it was the person who fired
A woman dressed as an astronaut walked in-between the two
"Nay," Shae-doe answered, his mind elsewhere.
A little boy, dressed up as Elton John, cried on a park
bench next to a little girl who wasn't wearing a costume.
"I used to be a runner for the Games department, running
money back and forth to the people in the stands..."
Shae-doe nodded, not hearing a word Lou said. He was too
busy preparing for the onslaught to come. He would show
Kaye-Boom who was the better wizard.
A man dressed as a woman dressed as a man dressed as a
woman walked past.
"That's how I met Mary," Lou continued, not noticing
Shae-doe's glazed eyes. "I had lunch with her--" He cut
himself short, turning to stare back down the crowded street
at the merry-go-round that they had passed just a few moments
"Some thing thy matter?" Shae-doe asked, popping back
A fat man costumed as a large super-hero waddled past,
completely unnoticed by Lou.
Lou shook his head. "I thought I saw a kid I went to
school with..." Lou thought outloud, "I think his name was
Mongo. Weird kid." He laughed then turned to face Shae-doe.
"I thought I saw him planting bombs on the merry-go-round
back there." He looked to the merry-go-round once more;
Mongo was nowhere to be seen. "My imagination is getting the
better of me."
A young girl, attired as a wrench, skipped by. The
girl's mother followed, dressed as a blue and white striped
Shae-doe shook his head as if to imply that everyone else
That's when they both noticed several miniature fireballs
shooting through the night sky over where the Games circle
"Funny," Lou thought outloud, "I always thought they held
the fireworks over the lake."
They watched ten little fireballs return from the sky and
land in many different places.
A second later, they watched several huge explosions
(along with many a scream, sounds of shattered glass, clouds
of smoke, and tall pinnacles of fire) erupt in several
different parts of the amusement park; one explosion was
somewhat close to them--near the lake.
"Kaye-Boom!" they cried in unison as they ran towards the