"Righty-ho and a Goonie Goo-goo!"
- The Dead Eye--saying his
"Righty-ho and a Goonie Goo-goo!" Corbin said again,
riding alone in one of the small hospital elevators.
Above the door, a little round number two lit up.
A little round one lit up.
A little round letter L lit up and then the doors slid
Corbin stepped out and breathed the air conditioned lobby
air, then headed for the main exit past the information
"Excuse me?" an old semi-retired volunteer nurse
exclaimed as The Dead Eye headed for the door past her booth.
"You're excused," The Dead Eye replied, opening the glass
doors. "But don't let it happen again," he added with a
smile as he strode out into the hospital parking lot, his
bare-backed robe fluttering in the summer breeze.
He looked about the immense parking lot, wondering what
he should do next.
"Hey, mommy!" a little brat yelled, interrupting The Dead
Eye's vehicle of thought. "Look at his eye!" He wagged a
transformable robot in Corbin's direction. "It's all gookie
looking!" He fiddled with his robot--changing it into a toy
gun--while waiting for his mother to take notice.
"That's not nice, honey," his mother responded. She
grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him towards the
He didn't budge. "How did that happen, mister?" he
asked, eagerly flipping his robot into a toy lawn mower.
"My eye?" Corbin/The Dead Eye asked the little boy.
The toddler nodded, unknowingly switching his robot into
a toy boom-box radio.
"I ate my vegetables," Corbin smiled. "Especially the
green ones," he added.
The toddler flinched with awe and horror. "Vegetables,"
he murmured, flipping his toy robot into a blender.
His mother gave Corbin a dirty look and dragged her son
along to the hospital entrance. What a day, she thought.
Corbin went back to looking for something. A minute
later, he still didn't find it, so he frowned instead.
Where is he? he asked himself. Where is that Kaye-Boom,
and where the hell is that Dead Adventure place?
"Cassville," that strange person told me, but where is that?
An empty school bus, numbered twenty-two, pulled up in
front of him and opened its doors.
A crowd of senor citizens gathered behind him, waiting to
get on the bus, making The Dead Eye first in line.
The Dead Eye frowned. What the hell is going on here? he
thought. What's with the bus?
"What are we waiting for?" number two on line asked
Corbin. "Why aren't we getting on the trip bus?" she asked.
"Righty-ho!" The Dead Eye replied, stepping onto the big
orange school bus. "And a Goonie Goo-goo!" he said to the
I don't need this, the bus driver thought. First a full
school year of bratty kids, then a month of driving the
veggies around in the tart-cart, now this. Nobody deserves
to drive old people around.
"Make sure you drive the appropriate speed, young lady,"
number two on line instructed.
Young lady? Maybe these old folks aren't so bad...
"Don't open any windows. I can't stand my hair being
blown about," the next in line advised.
"Step on it. Most of us folks can't take riding around
all day," number four said.
"Whew." Number five waved a bony hand. "It's terribly
hot in here. Open some windows," she advised.
Mrs. Very let her head fall to the oversized steering
wheel, ignoring everything.
Meanwhile, The Dead Eye took the last seat at the end of
the bus--a two seater to the right of the emergency exit. He
put the pile of Corbin's clothing on the seat next to him.
Another old lady took the seat in front of The Dead Eye.
Not only was she over the hill, she was falling faster than a
copper coin tossed into the heart of an extinct volcano, he
He tapped her on the shoulder. "Where are we headed for,
The lady choked. Dudette? she thought. Stupid kids!
"Death Adventure, young man," she answered briefly, turning
to face the front.
After a few minutes of loading, the bus was half full of
a bunch of old retirees and one hospital escapee. The bus
"We'll also be stopping at Seizure Village and Cemetery
Ridge for more pick-ups on the way to Death Adventure!" Ludy
Very yelled as she drove the school bus out of the parking
Well, this seems as good a start as any, The Dead Eye
thought. If Kaye-Boom isn't there, I'll just have to look
elsewhere in this wacky world. He rubbed his enlarged eye
with a scrap of his white hospital robe. Not exactly dressed
for the occasion, he thought, but who cares--I'll change when
I get there.
And so, the bus drove on, scheduled to be at D.A. at
around six o'clock--just in time to take advantage of the
evening price reductions. Not that The Dead Eye was planning
to pay to get in.